What to Expect and How to Prepare for Merging Finances in a Marriage
WEDDING

What to Expect and How to Prepare for Merging Finances in a Marriage

There was a time when everything was clear: a man supports a woman – full stop. Generation of our mothers and grandmothers vote for a common budget. Otherwise, it is not a family!

In more recent times, increasingly more couples choose an individual option. What is more comfortable?

Psychologists believe that back in the “courtship” of a relationship, one should learn how to discuss personal finance and future management system; otherwise, in the future arguments and disagreements befall.

A family is a serious project, which requires attentive and permanent work over relationships. This project is impossible without money. Money is a reflection of the competence level of each of the spouse.

People, who prepare to become a couple, need certainly discuss matters of finance, and the sooner, the better.

Usually, passion goes first. However, every member of the couple comes from a family of one’s own, with a certain understanding of life, values and attitude towards life.

Each of the future spouses has expectations and sights towards their future partner, and they might mismatch.

And, when rose-coloured glasses of the first love fade away and joint household begins; all the mismatches appear right here.

Those couples, who are able to discuss their future in details, live more happily with each other in further.

Try to answer the following questions apart from one another, and then to discuss the result together:

– What your family income is made of?

– How your financial budget is set?

– What are your perspectives?

– Do you count on help on the part of relatives?

– What salary of a husband will be not enough for a wife?

– What a wife can allow if she is unsatisfied with her husband’s salary?

– Will you accept help from parents? What if they assume a right to interfere in your business in response?

– How and where to keep the money? Each has a place of one’s own, or a husband gives the money to his wife, or each keeps for pocket expenses (how much?), while common money stays on the shelf? Other options?

– Bonuses and some extra earnings of a husband – to a husband? Or in the commonplace?

– Impulse purchase: is it possible, what, how to react to someone who is unhappy? And who is unhappy with?

 

Is there a universal algorithm of a family financial well-being? 

All the families are different; each is unique in its own way. There are no common templates of how to work with family finances.

A family life constantly puts forward new demands to a common household, expenses, travelling and investments in the future of a family and children.

One should live with a pen in a hand all the time; to fix daily expenses, to plan anticipated costs and incomes, think about new sources to feed a family budget, etc.  

Major characteristics of family wealth management are regularity and simplicity. Check whether you have included the following principles and rules in planning your family life.

  • Common financial goals
  • Investments
  • Numerous sources of income
  • Cost accounting and optimization

Think about what you are already doing out of it, regularly or not. If you skillfully operate your family finances, you will remove many negative situations back in the bud.

It is important to understand that external circumstances have only an indirect effect on our lives.

Yes, of course, they play some role, but it is you who decide how much money will be in your family, in your family budget.

 

Plan expenses as well as incomes

Oftentimes, people include in their plans expenses only (waste of their money). The family is going to start planning: “we want to live in a big house”, “we want to go to Haiti”, “we want us to have a house in Bulgaria”, “and we want to rest on the sea”.

It is not bad to have dreams; it is bad not to have them. However, a big mistake is when the family plans their expenses only.

This, of course, is important, pleasant, but it is not an investment. I want you to note that in addition to the costs of a comfortable life, it is very important to plan investments that will allow you to lead a similar lifestyle.

When you learn to invest small amounts of money, you can also invest in large ones.

And vice versa – if you do not have the accumulated skill, if you do not have a hand in investing small amounts, you will not be able to manage completely serious capital. Because the cost of the error will increase dramatically.

Answer the following questions:

  • What mistakes do you see in your family financial “policy”?
  • What did you miss from your family budget?

Plan together what you will start or continue to do, and what financial instruments you would better choose to realize your short-term and long-term goals.

 

Who needs to start the discussion of finances

Therefore, psychologists and financial analysts say in one voice that it is not just necessary to talk about money before creating a family.

It is dangerous and imprudent not to do it! You can begin to discuss the topic of money when it comes to situations involving money.

For example, on a date, most men usually pay in a restaurant or cafe and for themselves and their companion.

However, there are also such cases when both consider it normal, if the bill is paid equally, or the girl insists on her right to pay for herself always and everywhere.

If to discuss which rules are comfortable for whom right at this moment, then this is already a good start for creating harmonious relations in which financial issues are openly discussed, rather than shamefully slurred over.

Well, if this stage has already been passed and it is necessary to discuss the future principles of family financial planning, then who should be the initiator of such a discussion?

Everything is very individual, but it is a woman most likely. If to think well, a woman needs marriage more than a man, in most cases.

In addition, by its gender role, it is still the preserve of the hearth. However, there are exceptions, of course.

As for fear to damage relationships, such conversations can harm the couple only if the time, place and method of conversation are chosen wrong.

Nevertheless, it is much better when such conversations take place as a game, on a positive and comfortable atmosphere, full of love.

If you do not feel confident, then a psychologist will help you prepare for this conversation. Then the conversation will be more environmentally friendly and useful for relationships.

It is only important not to be afraid to ask for help. In addition, and you need to achieve a mutual understanding “on the shore”, before marriage.

There is a connection between the relationship in the couple and financial well-being, of course.

When people look at one side and are ready to work on relationships, they help the growth of family well-being with their mutual support.

Direct connection: good relations = financial well-being = good relations = worthy next generations.

 

The rules of anti-crisis optimization of a family budget

Simple rules to help those who have already entered into marriage to survive in a crisis and do not stop to enjoy life.

1. Spend money on what makes the most sense to your family. Including this is a family vacation together, developing activities for children, helping parents, etc.

 

2. It is foolish to spend more than you get.

Everyone understands this, but very few people manage to do this (according to statistics, every second family has outstanding loans, or even several at once).

 

3. It is foolish to buy things that you use once or twice only.

Alternatively, give up their purchases, or rent them for a while.

 

4. Get on agreement on a common understanding in the family – how we treat money, what we spend it on, what we invest in.

 

5. Never buy expensive things spontaneously.

Postpone the final decision on their purchase for a couple of weeks. If you still feel like it, feel free to buy, if it does not make you into debt.

 

6. Avoid excessive greed.

We live to get pleasure from life, not to save on every little thing! Treat yourself often (but within the agreed budget).

 

7. Learn to discuss the inevitable financial problems calmly, without shouting and scandals.

 

And remember, there is only one common rule for all: it is right for every family to be happy and enjoy life, and not to suffer and to live on a stringent budget somehow.

Melisa Marzett

Melisa Marzett is a happily married woman with a 4 months old little son Jim. Melisa is also happy because what she does for a living is writing articles in general and for http://smartessayrewriter.com/ in particular. It gives her a chance to combine work with pleasure.

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